For moms of young kids, Mother's Day just isn't our holiday

If, like me, you're a mom of a baby or toddler, you've probably noticed that Mother's Day, um, sucks. 

You won't get to relax, even if you're one of the lucky few to get a physical break from your children (thanks, ever-present Mom Guilt). You won't feel appreciated by the small people who made you a mother, because they're too young to give a crap. And anyway, you might just have complicated feelings about one single day being devoted to the thing that's currently taking over your entire life and identity.

So, here's the thing I've realized: This holiday is not for us. Not yet, anyway. Not until our children are old enough to not need us so badly, to not consume every ounce of our energy, to actually understand how lucky they are to have us. 

I have a 3.5 year old, a 2 year old, and a third baby on the way literally any day now. It's going to be a LONG time before I can truly claim and enjoy Mother's Day. This year, my fourth Mother's Day, I've decided to recognize that as fact and move on to the acceptance phase. Eventually, if I raise them right, my kids will make this holiday enjoyable for me. But 2022 is not that year.

So, today I choose to focus on my own devoted, selfless, perfect(ish) mother, along with my beloved grandmother and amazing mother-in-law. My unsolicited advice: If you're fortunate to have a maternal figure in your life who has made it through the tough years that you're in now, celebrate that person, and know that your time will come. 

PS: I haven't entirely given up on this holiday. I'm still milking it for everything it's worth – which, this year, means my husband encourages me to sleep in and we do every meal outside of the house so there's no need to clean up. It's the little things!